#tw implied suicide attempts

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

77?

full on mad scientist c!dream bc why not.

TW: Kidnapping, human experimentation, abuse, torture, implied suicide attempts, possessive behaviour, body horror, sleep deprivation, electrocution, drugging, and an incredibly unreliable narrator.

——

Day three of testing.

This subject seems more resilient than the others, and hasn’t broken under Dream's pulling and prodding yet. He thinks he might keep this one.

Caucasian male, roughly between fourteen and sixteen, blond hair, blue eyes. Six foot three and weighing far less than he should. Scars across his wrists, sleeping rough on the street, no missing person report. Either no one misses him or they think he's done the inevitable. Mouthy and loud, with a strange style of speaking that at first Dream categorised as obnoxious but has since found an odd charm in. Incredibly resilient, physically and mentally. Responds to positive reinforcement and praise far better than negative reinforcement and punishment, though both elicit amusing reactions.

What? Dream may be a scientist, but that doesn’t mean he can't have some fun every now and again. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

He doesn’t need a name- Subject 9 fits perfectly fine- but he loudly insists on being called Tommy with such a ferocity it is how Dream has started to mentally catalogue him as such. Never out loud- never show weakness, that gets you killed. Maybe one day, if Tommy earns it. If Tommy survives.

The idea of him dying seems wrong, somehow. He’s lasted longer than the others. Maybe Dream will take a new subject, for the riskier experiments, and keep Tommy to the relatively safer ones. Oh, he'll make him perfect someday, but he'll perfect that on others first, have them die on the operating table for him.

Somehow, Dream gets the feeling that Tommy wouldn’t appreciate that, and it only amuses him further.

There is a grace in his improvements most would not grasp. Patchwork grafts of skin, hiding the thin but durable layer of armour underneath. A hairless, prehensile tail, like a rats but rather more uneven. Mis-matched, oddly coloured eyes enabling perfect night vision. A mouth full of perfectly sharp, iron teeth, to fit his new dietary need for raw flesh. Horns jutting out of bloodied and raw flesh, irregular in shape, sharp enough to gore any man to death.

Most, Dream knew, would find the result horrifying. For Dream, it elicited the same sort of response as a particularly small kitten.

Of course, this was only a tiny fraction of the amount of changes needed to truly make the perfect being. He needed to be taller, stronger. Claws, hooves, stingers, spikes. A million lethal poisons at his disposal. Wings, large enough to allow his form to take into the air. Enhancements to the brain, cybernetics to allow him to think as fast and as logically as any supercomputer. Induced obedience- preferably, that of a sort that wouldn’t interfere with his hilarious shows of defiance that much.

Really, Tommy should be thanking him. Instead, he was being an ungrateful little wretch.

Sighing, Dream administers another shock to the half-conscious subject, forcing him to open his eyes yet again. “You’re not done.”

“I- I can’t do anymore, man.” Lazily, the ungrateful brat gestured at the course Dream had so generously built to test his abilities. “I haven’t slept in days. I can’t move.”

Fine. Dream's soft heart will be the death of him, he knows, because he can’t resist those puppy dog eyes. He'd let the kid have a few hours. But first…

“You want to sleep?” Dream grinned. “Beg for it, then.”

“Wha- why?” Tommy glared up at him, trying very hard to look intimidating and failing.

“If you’re not going to be doing our tests, for the greater good of all humanity, at the very least you can be of some entertainment, surely.”

The defeated look on Tommy's face was priceless. “I- I- please let me sleep, I promise I’ll do all the tests later, please, I’ll be good, I will, promise, sir-“

“Doctor.” Dream insisted.

“Yeah, yeah. Doctor. Just- I’m so fuckin' tired, man. Please.”

And how could Dream resist such a polite request?

Only the most minute of shock was visible on the subjects face as the needle pierced his flesh, before the medicine quickly glazed over, leaving him dazed in a second and asleep in two. Like an animal, in hibernation. How fascinating.

Draping the least bloody sheet he could find over his prone form like a blanket, Dream paused a second before leaving the cell, smiling. “Sweet dreams, my Tommy.”

[ossiethegreat]

kimya dawson and color spectrum duo … grrr….

@howlsofbloodhounds

Color belongs to superyoumna

Killer belongs to rahafwabas

Song - Anthrax by Kimya Dawson

there’s so much fanart of killer sinking in water or something and honestly it’s kinda funny

[sad-leon]

TW!! Suicide Attempt, Self Harm, Implied Eating Disorder

i forgor the colour behind the dialogue but im too tired to add it now

im so tired and theres no resolution because nothing i can make will make me feel better. i Know my friends love me and think my life is worth living, but when it gets bad it gets Bad and theres nothing to do but pick up the peices

[loucifersbitch]

"You left."

"Buck?"

"You left me."

"I don't - what's going on? Why do you sound -"

"I thought you would be the one to stay. Everyone always leaves. I thought you'd stay."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, Buck. I was trying to save us both from getting hurt later."

"I was in love with you. I still am. But I thought you'd stay."

"I didn't leave because I don't love you."

"Why does everyone always leave? When will I be good enough for someone to stay?"

"Buck? Did you - take something?"

"I thought you'd stay."

"I'm calling 911."

...

"Buck?"

...

"Evan?"

[luneariann]

I went through the five stages of grief making this but it’s FINISHED HUZZAHHHH

As you can see…. I struggled, special thanks to my beloved friend @caelanglang for giving me advice on this thing cuz without them I would’ve given up 🫶

[sweetbunpura]

Please make a fanfic about how Rollo falls in love with Yuu. How did he become from a genocidal maniac who was hellbent on eliminating magic to one of the sweetest sympathetic characters in Ramshackle?

I can tell you, that that's somewhere in my works. So you get to see how Yuu managed to do this, but I'll take about the progress to how she broke his shell.

Getting kicked out of NBC does that to you. You'd think it'd make it worse in Rollo, but Yuu is a beast tamer for a reason. Rollo was snippy towards her, until she swiftly put him in his place. After that, Yuu let Rollo to his own devices.... which was a terrible idea, cause Rollo just started spiraling.

He didn't eat, he hardly slept, everything was a struggle with having him do anything. It was like getting an abused animal from the shelter and they fall into fear mode in their new home. When Yuu noticed something was up, she was very pissed.

"What the absolute fuck are you doing?"

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" Rollo's glaring at her from his spot on the infirmary bed. "You left me to my own devices, remember?"

"I left you to do shit on your own, NOT FUCKING STARVE!" Yuu's growl was almost inhuman. "You sack of shit, is this what you're going to do to yourself?"

"I have nothing more to fight for-"

"Your parents lost one son, they don't need to lose another!" She grabbed him by the shirt. "If you need a reason to keep going, look around you and take a deep breath in. Jehan would've wanted you to live on." She let him go and pushed a lunch box towards. "Now eat."

And after that, Rollo started to shyly repair that relationship with Yuu while working on his community service for the others.

[borderlinereminders]

Yes, you should absolutely grow and do better. But please don’t ever think your past self lacked worth in any way. Your past self got you through everything, even when it seemed impossible. And you’re here now thanks to that version of you.

(Even if that version of you tried to give up at times. You’re still here.)

[itz-pandora]

Tw: su1c1d3 ideation/attempt, knife in frame, implied drinking

Art below cut (also rambling)

Chuck really struggles after Jules' death, he's lost his entire family (I'm leaning towards Terios also being dead at this point to solidify this)

Chuck felt awful before that because Nikki. Chuck helped give Nikki that adventurous spirit, and they built a plane together, which Nikki took to run away. He felt personal responsible.

Chuck's an introvert, so all he had was his family. All the connections and friends he made through work are on the other side of the world. The only person he can think of to call is Bernie, since she was Jules' wife. He called her because he wanted to be talked down from this, he wants to be able to keep living on but it's difficult when he's isolated and dealing with everyone he knows just disappearing. (Chuck lives in a rural area so he's not exactly gonna have a lot of regular social interaction.)

He unfortunately picked up drinking to try to dull the pain of losing everyone he cared about.

Bernie stays on the line with him because she knows what's gonna happen. She ends up making sure to schedule phone calls and visits so he keeps himself alive.

Chuck gets to meet Sonic after a long time and he completely falls apart. This is the first time Sonic ever saw Chuck cry, and this grown man is just sobbing while hugging him, since he's really glad to have a member of his family back.

At this point, Chuck wouldn't have any capacity to be frustrated with Sonic for running, he's just too glad to have him back.

[sadtrashking]

finally finished this

redraw of a piece from 2023 original, unblurred, and close ups below

[burned0utstar]

I called an ambulance for my best friend just now. He'll hate me now, but it's fine.

He'll hate me now but he'll live.

He'll hate me now but I did this because I love him.

[r26yz]

don't go

[ginumo]

Now Playing

Our Time

First // Prev // 12 // Next

[d3vdgvrrll]

when you die, they crack your ribs. they pound and shock and hurt you and then piece u back together again. they used to say that if your heart stops, the devil can sneak into it. i died, and the devil had took my soul. i died, and now im alive again. sourrounded by angels, i am a monster. what do i do now.

[aftgficrec]

Hi do you guys know of any fics where neil ends up in Easthaven (or similar) because years of ignoring his trauma and refusing Bee finally catches up with him and it’s andreil focused?

There’s plenty about Neil and his mental health around, but most fics where Neil is in Easthaven or a similar institution are AUs. We’ve got some postcanon fics for you here where Neil has neglected his mental health to such a degree that the consequences are fairly disastrous (even though often he finally agrees to go to therapy). So, beware of the trigger warnings! - S

Also see these previous recs:

(see top of posts for further recs)

Neil & Bee here 

Neil goes to therapy here

Neil attempts suicide here

You might also like…

Andreil and eating disorders here

Andreil meet in Easthaven here

Neil with depression/mental illness here

Neil with anxiety attacks here

Some more fics featuring Neil struggling with his mental health/seeking help:

‘cracked but not smashed’ here

‘I No Longer Feel Things (I Know I Should)’ (since updated) and ‘I can feel you under my skin’ here

‘I'm Not Okay (I Promise)’ here

‘yes, I’m still trying’ here

I feel the burden now (it’s weighing down my soul) by Loverz_rock [Not Rated, 3238 words, complete, 2024]

Neil broke away from Andrew’s gaze to stare out the window. “Will you keep me from killing myself? Ever since you gave me a key and told me to stay I’ve been fighting to do just that. But I don’t have it in me to do it any longer. I don’t know how to live now that I’m allowed to.” Neil let his fingers run through his hair as he returned his gaze to the blond. Andrew’s hand twitched to reach out. Instead he took a long drag from his cigarette, focusing on letting the smoke out. “Don’t ask for stupid things. I’m not going to make a deal about that” Neil didn’t push, he just stood there staring at Andrew while inhaling the smoke to keep him grounded. “I’m already doing that, idiot.” Or: Neil is sinking down a dark place during his last year of college, but Andrew is there to catch him.

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: ptsd

I Am A Forest Fire by hetheylecter [Rated M, 3558 words, complete, 2024]

Everyone was staring at him, he knew. They were thinking how stupid he was for all this. He was Neil Josten. He was Nathaniel fucking Wesninski. He should not be breaking down over a few friends family moving on with their lives.  or. it’s neil’s senior year. he’s totally coping.

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: ptsd, tw: vomit, tw: dissociation, tw: blood

Neil Josten is Not Fine by the_greater_grief [Rated T, 3365 words, complete, Aftg Then & Never 2024]

After weeks of nightmares and an embarrassing discovery, Neil finally decides to pay Betsy a visit.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: nightmares, tw: bedwetting

i'll take anything you have (if you could throw me a line) by ifitmeanslosingyou [Rated M, 923 words, complete, 2024]

the sunrise can be pretty, neil thinks, but instead of the pinks and oranges washing him with ease, neil can’t help the panic at the thought that he’s been up here for longer than he planned to he wonders if anyone has even realized he left the dorms in the first place, wonders if andrew even looked when neil left the bedroom, wonders if he gave up, wonders if he finally came to his senses and realized neil was more trouble than he’s worth wonders if the roof of the court is high enough that the fall would kill him

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced self harm

help, I've lost myself again (but I remember you) by abitsillygoofy [Not Rated, 5320 words, complete, 2024]

“Neil we have to talk about it,” Betsy said “I don’t think so” Neil replied “Nope, not happening” He popped the p at the end trying to make the woman mad at him. “You just tried to kill yourself, so I think we have to have this talk” Betsy didn’t seem bothered by his act and kept her nice, neutral facial expression, but unlike on his session looked worried too. or Neil wakes up in the hospital after his suicide attempt and has to face what he did.

tw: suicide attempt, tw: self harm, tw: blood

I Quit Talking Again, I Know You're Still Listening by Hyalophagia [Not Rated, 36085 words, complete, 2024]

"Andrew didn’t know how to stop something from breaking; he’d nearly died trying. But Neil had taught him it was possible to put the broken pieces back together, and he was determined to return the favour." Neil was only a freshman and a rookie when he made his deal with Ichirou. He hadn't stopped to consider how much pressure he was putting on himself; he'd lived in danger his entire life and was used to fighting to stay alive. He'd be fine. He'd always been fine and he always would be. Right?

tw: self harm, tw: dissociation, tw: disordered eating, tw: ptsd, tw: panic attacks

hand. cheek. trigger. bang. by tae_doelee [Rated T, 3980 words, incomplete, last updated March 2022]

(NB: fic is marked as complete, but the storyline is left unfinished)

Neils struggle with depression post-AFTG, things have changed but maybe not as much as he thought.

tw: ptsd, tw: depression, tw: dissociation

You Still have me by Marydu [Rated G, 3826 words, complete, 2022]

Neil is missing again Andrew is worried Where is Neil? What the hell is going on? Andrew is furious that he doesn't know

tw: dissociation, tw: alcohol abuse, tw: minor character death

bullet point fic/headcanon by nightquills [Rated T, collection, complete, 2021]

Chapter 8: out of touch

neil knew that things couldn’t stay the same forever. he knew he and his foxes, his friends, his family would be leaving palmetto soon to start the rest of their lives. 

tw: depression, tw: dissociation

Choices by Tori_Scribbles [Rated T, 3306 words, complete, 2019]

Part 6 of In A Foxes Hole

“You walked into Evermore, knowing full well what they were going to do to you. You left with your father’s people not expecting to come back out alive. But Betsy is what you’re terrified of?”

tw: anxiety, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Neil & therapy by @queer-lovebot [tumblr, 2023]

Knowing Neil, he isn’t getting therapy post-canon for at Least 5 years. He is, however, extremely curious about the effects it has on literally all the other Foxes.

AU-setting:

you make your hand a gun (you lie to everyone) by superache208 [Rated T, 13740 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2025]

When Andrew arrives at the Columbia Psychiatric Hospital, he feels nothing but numb. That is until he meets his roommate Neil. Neil has been in the hospital for two weeks, and he's determined to escape. Unless someone gives him a reason to stay. Or: where Neil and Andrew first meet in a Psychiatric Hospital before ever meeting the Foxes and slowly learn to heal.

tw: suicide attempt, tw: anxiety, tw: ptsd, tw: eating disorders, tw: paranoia

more than enough by drunk_poet [Rated M, 6114 words, complete, 2024]

In the shadows of a quiet mental hospital, two broken men find themselves adrift in a world that doesn’t see them. Andrew Minyard hides behind silence, having long forgotten how to connect with anyone. Neil Josten wears his scars like armor, each one a piece of his fractured past. Neither of them expects more than solitude within these walls. But when their paths cross in the silence of an empty room, something unexpected stirs—an understanding, a shared darkness that only they can see in each other. Drawn together by wounds that refuse to heal, they begin to find solace in each other's presence, their guarded hearts slowly thawing in moments of quiet connection. Their bond is fragile, threatened by the very ghosts that brought them here, yet they find themselves clinging to it, both terrified and mesmerized by the possibility of love in the unlikeliest of places.

tw: self harm, tw: implied/referenced suicide attempt, tw: panic attacks

5 Meter Walls | 5 Meter Mauern by jetblackromance [Rated E, 7570 words, complete, 2024]

Teen Neil and teen Andrew meet in a psychiatric ward. Neil’s mom died at the beach after an encounter with Neil's father's men. Neil's own wounds were more severe than he had thought. He passed out in a motel and the owner called child services on him. They found him just in time and called an ambulance. After a few weeks in the hospital, they decided a stay at the psychiatric ward would be best for him. Andrew was staying with Cass and Richard. He had accepted that he had to deal with Drake if he wanted to stay with Cass. He found his own way to cope with it. Usually he hid it well enough; no one but Drake knew about it, the armbands covered the evidence. But one day, Cass saw and signed him up for an eight week long stay at a psychiatric ward.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: scars

Sunrise by hetheylecter [Rated M, 4459 words, complete, 2024]

Freedom was… not what Neil was expecting. It wasn’t as… freeing?  or. neil navigates the hell that is middle school, mental health, and freedom.

tw: self harm, tw: suicide attempt, tw: eating disorders, tw: implied/referenced bullying

Butchered Bloodline by starrycassi [Rated M, 26472 words, incomplete, last updated Oct 2024]

Nathaniel's life is pretty boring. He has been a long-term patient in a mental facility for the last half of a decade, after all, so there aren't that many options to entertain oneself with. That is until Andrew Minyard breaks into his life — along with a serial killer, a chance to rebuild his life and a truth for truth deal. Or the one where after being captured along with his father, Nathaniel attempts to keep up with his own existence.

tw: graphic descriptions of violence, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced dismemberment, tw: cannibalism, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced torture

Baby, We're Both Crazy by Detective4 [Not Rated, 7806 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2023]

“So...Have you been here before?” Neil’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?” “To Orchard Respite. Or any other hospital I guess. This is my second time here, sixth time in a psychiatric hospital in total.” Daniel said, far too cheerfully. “This is… My first time.” “A first-timer?” Daniel’s eyes widened, “Boy, are you in for a treat."  -- Teens Andrew and Neil meet for the first time in a mental hospital. They've both been committed against their will and both for different reasons. With all their multitudes of issues, can they find love?

tw: implied/referenced suicide attempt, tw: implied/referenced self harm

[a-st4rless-sky]

TW: NOOSE IMAGERY AND SUICIDE.

click keep reading to see video

EGO DEATH - PRELUDE - 4 (END OF PART 0) (Next) - [Beginning] - {Previous} - The rope's not voluntary, nor one that you can show. " so much more than time has been taken. but what other option does that give me? ...i already know the answer. i've just been too stubborn to let go. there's nothing left for me here. heart, mind... i'm sorry. " - excerpt of cut dialogue from panel 2. OOC: { WHOOO that was a doozy. okay now that we're done with the most angsty definitely-came-from-a-14-year-old-like-me bullshit, we can finally get to part one, which will be... less of that. it's gonna take a good minute though and some research on my part. mostly on how to write and draw heart. heart is gonna be such a pain in my ass for this whole thing. to answer questions, yes mind and soul died. no they're not dead. confused? great. i might open my askbox inbetween part 0 and 1 to talk to anons. because why not. i've never not been impulsive. it's the reason this blog exists. thank you for all the attention, by the way. i like it. makes my child brain happy :) cheers }

[hella-amberpricefield]

A Silent Voice (2016)